- Choose Bill Gates as your Dark Lord.
- Choose service packs every three months to fix the 800 bugs introduced in the last one.
- Choose an assload of obscure shovelware apps and shitty games and an Office suite that needs 18 gigs to write a letter.
- Choose selling your soul to piracy.
- Choose cheap ass parts from Korea.
- Choose Winamp skins that look like snot.
- Choose the blue screen of death.
- Choose hordes of 133t skript kiddiez clogging the internet with their shit.
- Choose running Norton and ZoneAlarm constantly to fight off the newest viruses.
- Choose using letters for drives while wondering where the hell B:\ went.
- Choose Steve Balmer jumping across the stage like a gorilla in heat.
- Choose a damn crapshoot every time you install a program or add a peripheral.
- Choose Microsoft squashing competitors and finding new ways to take over the world.
- Choose sitting on your fat ass, mocking Linux users in chatrooms and forums, drowning in your own bile about Intel and AMD who think stealing from others is "innovation".
- Choose your future.
Choose Windows.